Wishful Thinking

As she looked over the balcony, out into the late LA skyline all Nicki could think about was how her life had been turned upside down in only a few days. Up until a few days before now, Nicki had the perfect car, house. Nicki had the money, the celeb friends, the designer clothes, shoes and bags. But she had just one thing missing. The perfect husband, boyfriend and best friend. Nicki had all of this up until only a few months ago. Nicki took a sip of her sparkling water and placed the glass back on the floor. She continued to look outside.

2000 - 
Onika and Safaree sat on the steps outside Safaree’s house. Thinking. They had just come back from High school. Today was careers day. Onika and Safaree both enjoyed the day. However they came to the conclusion that both of them wanted different things from life. This worried them as they were the best of friends. Their parents were very close. They had met each other through being neighbours while both of them were pregnant. Ever since then they had been close. Nicki and Safaree had grown up together, attended all the same schools, all the same out of school activities. As well as becoming unbreakable. 

“Faree ..” Nicki nudged him.  Breaking him out of his trance. 

“Yeah Nika?” 

He looked at Nicki right in her eyes. Hoping she was going to say what he has wanted to say for months. 

“Promise me that even if I do become an actress and you become an entrepreneur that we will always be bestfriends. Or even if we have a big falling out, that you’ll always be there for me. Because I need you Faree  ... You are my bestfriend, my brother. I could never lose you. Please don’t leave me”

 Safaree grabbed both of Nicki’s hands and looked her directly in her eyes. 

“Onika, we have fallen out many times before, and we have made up. We will never fall out or be apart. We are like two peas in a pod. We’ll always be bestfriends and we’ll always have each other’s back. You’ll never lose me. And I know I’ll never lose you.”

 
“I know Faree  ... I love you” 

“Love you too Nika” Nicki and Safaree embrace each other in a long hug.

Present Day – 
Nicki put her hand over her baby bump.

 “He promised he’d never leave, he’d promise we’ll all be bestfriends, always be together. That no matter how big our arguments were, that’d he would always have my back. He said he loved me. Guess that was a lie too”.

 Nicki rubbed her hand in circular motions over the medium sized bulge showing through her “It’s pink Friday hoe” top. She whispered to it

 “I love you baby girl, hopefully you’re daddy does too.” 

Nicki stood to her feet and made her way to her bedroom. She pulled out a pair of comfortable girls boxers alongside one of Safaree’s old t-shirts. Nicki then headed off to the bathroom to get in the shower. She ran the shower for a few minutes to let the shower warm up. Nicki took off her clothes and looked at herself in the mirror. She cradled her baby bump and whispered 

“wow baby girl, you’re really getting big now aren’t ya”

 Nicki giggled then walked over to the shower. As she stood underneath the shower she thought over everything she has been feeling these past few months. The only thing that really stuck out to her was what if Safaree didn’t want this baby? What if he didn’t want to have anything to do with her? Or what about if he did, how was he going to take it that Nicki had hid from him that she is pregnant with his child by 5 months? What if Safaree wants to be a family? How can she guarantee he won’t walk out and leave her again? She could not put her baby through that. Nicki would never let that happen. These thoughts could not be pushed to the back of Nicki’s head.

  Nicki washed herself with her dove soap. Nicki rinsed herself off. She stepped out of the shower, grabbed her multi shaded pink towel and wrapped it around herself. Nicki then entered her bedroom and grabbed her coco butter. She sat down on the bed and thoroughly rubbed the coco butter all over her body. It was times like this when she just wished Safaree was here. Just to experience the pregnancy. And to be there for her and support her. But he wasn’t. Nicki had to do it all alone. Well she wasn’t exactly alone. Nicki had Lauren, Candi, her mum and dad. Also her brothers and some other close friends and family members. Still. With all of that support, without the one man she needed by her side she felt all alone. Nicki’s phone rang snapping her out of her thoughts.

 “Hello?”

 Nicki said putting the coco butter back on the night stand and putting on her pj’s that were sat at the end of her bed. 

“Hello Nika, how you and little missy doing?” 

“Were doing good ma, just relaxing, doing what I can. We’re currently just getting into bed. But. How is everything at home?” Nicki said getting underneath the covers. 

“Good! Good news is what I love to hear. And everything is good. Cai has been complaining that he has been missing you, but apart from that. We are all good. And everything is brilliant!” Nicki giggled.

 “Awwww, my baby. Well tell Cai, as long as his school grades are up, and it’s okay with you, he can spend his spring break with me! And that’s good to hear ma really” Mrs Maraj smiled. She loved the bond that all three of her kids had. 

Even though Jelani was grown and had kids of his own. The three were still unbreakable.

 “Oh that would be lovely Onika! I will talk to him and I’ll let you know”

 “Okay ma! Sounds great .. OWWWW! Nicki winced in pain. 

“NICKI! NIKA! What’s wrong?” “Uh .. nothing ma. I think she just kicked for the first time! Oh my gosh ma ! It’s so real! I’m gonna have a baby!”

 Mrs Maraj lets out a long breath. And smiled! 

“Thank goodness for that! You scared me Nicki! But that’s wonderful! And yes you are! You’re going to be a wonderful mum. And I know she’s just going to be as beautiful as you baby girl!” Nicki smiled.

 However the smile left as quickly as it came.

 “I know ma, as I’ve been told. But no matter how much of a wonderful mother I am. How long do you think it’s gonna take before she realizes she doesn’t have a normal family. A dad like everybody else! It’s not fair ma! How can I bring her into a world like this! No ma I just can’t do this all alone!” Nicki broke down in tears. 

“Onika, listen to me. You are going to the best mother. That little girl doesn’t need a father to be happy. Yes a father would be great, and I know how much you need Safaree at this time and you’re feeling lonely, and stressed. But it’s going to be okay. That little girl will love you no matter what. It’s no way, in any shape or form your fault the reason Safaree is no longer here. So do NOT blame yourself. Is that clear Onika? Stop doubting yourself!” Nicki wiped her tears. 

“Yes ma, I understand. I .. I. I just hope she understands and doesn’t blame me for this.” 

“She won’t baby girl, stop doubting yourself. Now. I will be coming down on Monday to stay with you for a few days Nika. To make sure you are okay and keep you company for a bit, okay? And don’t bother telling me you’re fine. Because I’m not take no for an answer!” Nicki made a slight giggle.

 “Yes ma. I got you. By the way ma. I love you” 

“I love you too baby girl. Now get some rest. Tell little miss I said goodnight”

 “Okay ma, will do. Speak to you tomorrow. Bye!” 

“Bye bye baby”.

 Nicki hung up the phone. She sighed as she spoke to her belly. 

“Grandma and I love you baby girl. Get here soon” Nicki put her phone on the night stand, and got snuggled up underneath the covers then slowly drifted off to sleep.

1hour 30mins later Nicki’s phone was constantly flashing red. Telling her she had 25 missed calls. 6 new messages and 5 new voicemails. All from the same person she’d never thought she’d hear from again.

Alrightyyyyyy guys! This is chapter one! Hope you enjoyed. I'm gonna need some comments, because i'm struggling to figure out what's going to happen. I have at least 10 chapters planned. But I still need comments! I hope you like it. Please give some constructive criticism! Next chapter will defiantly be up tomorrow. Have a lovely evening!

 - Nicole Grace'Ann J